People Are Who They Are

English: A plain wooden cross. Photo taken by ...

English: A plain wooden cross. Photo taken by Krupo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My mother used to say, “You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.” That is a Western Pennsylvania colloquialism. Something else I have observed in working with people. You can’t make a ten duck person out of someone who only has a four duck capacity. The reference to ducks is taken from the phrase, “Get your ducks in a row.” The source of this phrase is taken from those who bowl with duck pins. I have always said as I have observed people, It doesn’t matter how many talents you have, but how you use your talents. To whom much is given, much is required, but a one talent person has a greater chance to stay focused.

When you have many talents you must prioritize. You pick your major and then allocate your minors. People with a lot of talent will never have enough time or energy to develop all of their talents and mature them into full capacity, so everyone must major in something. That’s what higher education does for you. It helps you sort out your best talents and develop them so you can drill deeply into the fields of service that lie before you.

How many people have married a spouse thinking they can change them for the better, only to find out “they are who they are” and they never change. The general rule is never take a spouse that does not have the capacity to grow to maturity comparable to your ability to grow. You may think that love covers all bases, but making the wrong decision based on, “I can change them” can set you up for a lifetime of misery.

You can’t make a person someone they don’t have the capacity to become. People are born with certain proclivities. They are impacted by their circumstances and education to become who they are. The older people get, the more fixed they become in their ways and the more difficult it is to change habits and shed baggage from the past. That is why people must learn to establish a corridor of acceptance when developing relationships and structures of community.  Some work against that nature to overcome things like shyness or addictive tendencies. AA does a great job at helping people. Many work to compensate for things that are out of the corridor of societal acceptance. By their will they determine not to offend normative patterns for building good relationships.

All of these things are difficult and must be addressed both individually and communally in building proper social structures. Spiritual motivation is important in accomplishing all of these things. Society can address many of the needs of people in order to bring reform to the lives of people; but it is only through a relationship with God in Jesus Christ, his Son, that the condition and attitude of the heart can be changed. The people of the world have a “heart crisis” which only Christ can change. Transformation, not reformation, is the answer.

I have worked with many people and thought that if they would only respond to advice their problems would be solved and they would be successful. I found that people are “who they are.” They seldom change their basic way of accepting motivational energy and expediting advice. Learning to live with people is indeed a challenge. Continuing to learn as a person is even a greater challenge. Think on these things.


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